The daughters-in-law of the Dhruv Adivasi family, the priest of the village goddess of Kosmi village of Gariaband block, are forbidden to look like a married woman or dress up. They can wear brass bangles and Mangalsutra around the neck, but the rest of the clothes are like those of a widow. There are 32 families of the priest family living in Kosmi. The family currently has a widowed mother of the 4th generation, 8 daughters-in-law of the 5th generation, out of which 3 are widows. Apart from this, there are also 10 daughters-in-law of the 6th generation, who are following the tradition that has been followed for the past several generations.
The goddess had cursed him
The current village priest Firat Ram Dhruv, successor of the priest, says that he had heard from his father Dev Singh that before his great grandfather Nagendra Shah, his ancestors, who used to be the village priests, the goddess used to come in the guise of a woman and feed them food every day after their farming work. For several days, when the food prepared by the priestess started coming back home, the priestess hid herself to know the secret of the food.
While the priest was eating, a stranger woman arrived with food. The priest was eating the food prepared by her when the priestess arrived and started beating the woman. Then the angry goddess cursed the family and said that if the daughters-in-law of the family look like married women, they will suffer physical pain. Since then, for many generations, the daughters-in-law of the family live in the garb of widows. The priest said that she was Dhuma Devi, whom we have been worshipping as Badi Mai for generations.
Breaking tradition causes physical pain
Kamli Bai, the 6th generation daughter-in-law, told that when she got married 37 years ago, she unknowingly applied sindoor and tilak on her forehead, which caused her headache. When she went to her parents’ house outside the village and tried to wear colorful clothes, she suffered backache and other physical problems. Referring to an incident she had seen with other daughters-in-law, she says that when she wore rings and toe rings, her fingers swelled.
It is a matter of faith, not superstition
Hari Dhruv, the most educated person in the family, is the manager of Gariaband Cooperative Bank. He says that if this was a superstition, it would have been broken, but now it has become a belief. His wife Lalita says that one can wear Mangalsutra, apart from this, brass bangles are worn. Widowed women are made to wear silver bangles, which are cracked. Lalita is also educated. Her husband is always out of the house due to his job. No one says anything about the clothes in the village, but outside, people’s curiosity has to be satisfied.
The new generation needs to change but
Before making a daughter-in-law, the relatives are made aware of this custom of the family. The matter moves forward only after the consent of the would-be daughter-in-law. Earlier, the relationship was easy. After the 5th generation, difficulties started arising in establishing the relationship. Now the 6th generation sons also want this custom to change. But the elders of the family are not changing it despite wanting to. Vishnu Dhruv, the senior of the family, says that this is not a superstition, but he is hopeful that one day he will definitely get signs of changing the custom.
