In February 2020, Irrfan and Sutapa Sikdar celebrated their 25th wedding anniversary. Here’s looking at their love story.
Irrfan died at the age of 53 today at Mumbai’s Kokilaben Dhirubhai Ambani Hospital. He was buried at Versova Kabrastan at 3 pm, this afternoon. He is survived by his wife, Sutapa Sikdar and two sons, Babil and Ayan.
Now, not many would be able to recognise Sutapa Sikdar at film events even if they were to spot her. She’d always accompany Irrfan, but remained a little away from the direct spotlight. Yet, she was, in fact, writing his dialogues, actively helping him in his work and at home through their 25 years of marriage. It was love of another kind.
Irrfan and Sutapa met as classmates in National School Of Drama (NSD). Irrfan was a very promising student, and Mira Nair, who was at NSD in 1986 while she was casting for Salaam Bombay, would vouch for that. “I noticed his focus, his intensity, his very remarkable look – his hooded eyes,” Mira had said to Anees Chhabra for his book Irrfan Khan, The Man, The dreamer, The Star.Irrfan and Sutapa fell in love. Their love for cinema and art, that resulted in deep discussions fueled it. Mira Nair’s visit to NSD helped Irrfan land his big movie break in Salaam Bombay – he was to play a street kid, Salim. But eventually, his role was changed because Mira thought he didn’t look like a malnourished kid from the streets. Irrfan had a blink-and-you-miss cameo of sorts in Salaam Bombay instead; he played a typist. He was heartbroken, and Sutapa was there through it all.
They two got married on February 23, 1995, completing 25 years of marriage this year. In all these years they’ve endured several highs and lows, both professionally and personally. Irrfan had a slew of not-so-successful Bollywood films before Vishal Bhardwaj’s Maqbool (2003) and Mira Nair’s The Namesake (2006) turned things around for him.
Sutapa is a film dialogue writer herself, with films like Khamoshi, Shabd and Kahaani to her credit. She later turned producer with Madaari (2016) and Qarib Qarib Singlle (2017), both starring Irrfan in the lead.
In 2018, Irrfan was diagnosed with a neuroendocrine tumour, which turned their lives around once again. Irrfan went off to London for treatment with his family by his side, and his thriving film career was put on hold.
In March 2018, right after Irrfan’s diagnosis, Sutapa had called Irrfan a warrior in a social media post. “My best friend and my partner is a ‘warrior’ he is fighting every obstacle with tremendous grace and beauty. I apologize for not answering calls msgs,but I want all of you to know I am truly humbled indebted for ever for the wishes prayers and concern from all over the world. I am grateful to god and my partner for making me a warrior too. I am at present focused in the strategies of the battlefield which I have to conquer. It wasn’t and isn’t and is not going to be easy but the hope ignited by the magnitude of family ,friends and fans of irrfan has made me only optimistic and almost sure of the victory. I know curiosity germinates from concern but lets turn our curiosity from what it is to what it should be. Lets change the leaf. Lets not waste our precious energies to only know what it is and just prey to make it what it should be. My humble request to all
of you is to concentrate on the song of life, to dance of life to victory.
My family will soon join in this dance of life. Thank you all from bottom of our heart . Sutapa irrfan babil ayaan (sic),” Sutapa had written in a long Facebook post.
But if Irrfan was the warrior, Sutapa made him that, and the strength to fight too. “What to say about Sutapa? She is there 24/7. She has evolved in care-giving and if I get to live, I want to live for her. She is the reason for me to keep at it still,” Irrfan had said about Sutapa in an interview to a leading tabloid.
After a year of treatment, Irrfan got back to India and finished work on Angrezi Medium, which nowstands as his last on-screen performance. On Tuesday, April 28, he was admitted to the ICU and on Wednesday, April 29, he breathed his last. The whole of cinema fraternity – Bollywood and Hollywood – along with millions of fans across the globe are still grappling with this insane loss.
